Trapped!

Originally I had planned to stay for the funeral on Thursday and return to Damascus Friday afternoon, in order to be back in time to study for my make-up midterm on Sunday. But it is now Saturday evening after midnight and I am still in Beirut. Why? Good question.

For two days after the funeral the family receives condolences at their house. They had published a news release in the papers to notify the public about the death of their family member and as people see it, outside of the immediate friends/family circle, they come to the house from about 11-7, sitting chatting drinking coffee etc etc. It doesn't sound intense but it is still somehow exhauusting. I found that the conversations were easier to follow and so I honed my skills in the Lebanese dialect for following the usual greetings- howarethekids-howisyourhealth-howisyourwork-lookatthisweather! train of thought.

In the afternoon, after lunch (catered rice pilaf with white fish, big salad, roasted vegetables and beef, stuffed grape leaves zucchini and eggplant) and a lot of guilting from the rellys about leaving so soon, I decided I could wait another day to return to Damascus. If I left early in the morning, I could still make it back in time to study in the afternoon and enjoy some more time with the family. Plus the weather forecast was more snow for the mountains and leaving late in the day is a little risky.

After a few more hours of receiving condolences, I escaped for a bit to see how my aunt Nagibe was doing, as she was not feeling well earlier and was resting in her room. I found her watching Turkish soap operas so I gladly sat next to her on her bed and joined in, only to emerge, alas, when all the guests had disappeared.

Dinner was vegetable soup, salad, fruit for dessert and such...and then I said my goodbyes, returned with my bags to Josyan's house, and set my alarm to wake up early and pack and head out.

But of course for the first time this year, the roads to Damascus were closed. I don't know if there was any other way I could have gone, perhaps via a different city, but amidst family apprehension I agreed to go back to Nagibe's house and wait a few hours to see if it cleared. So back with my bags to another day of condolences and condolences, though this time I learned my lesson and broke it up a bit. After a breakfast that we picked up on the way of kenafeh (different from what we make at home, and for breakfast?), a sesame seed roll toasted and stuffed with either cheese or cream and drizzled with sweet syrup, I went with Nilda and Ramez to buy groceries, then sat in the kitchen and helped prepare fruit salad. Before lunchtime, I asked again about leaving, and though the roads still seemed to be closed, I didn't trust that there wasn't an alternative route or taxis with snow chains or something. So I ate a quick lunch and went with Ramez to the taxi station. There were zero taxis there. I didn't quite understand if there were no taxis at all today, or if there had been some in the morning and they left early because of the snow, but either way it was clear I had to return to the house and spend another day.

I was worried about my midterm, because the university made it very clear that this is a special case to get it moved and I didn't want to have to ask for another date change. There are very few grades in the month-long course, and though I don't care what my final grade is, there is no way I want to fail it and have to retake the same level next time. I don't know how it will turn out, but at the very least I hope to make it back tomorrow in time to find my teacher, explain to her what happened, and still take the exam in the afternoon. However apparently the roads stay closed til 10 am, which leaves no time for error or delays, if I want to be at the university by 1. [The other reason I really need to go back- I forgot my toothbrush! It's been terrible for everyone involved.]

But I can't do anything about it and in the end it turned out to be a good thing that I stayed another day. After a few days of being overwhelmed by familyness combined with formalities and on top of my own lack of communication, I finally began to feel a little more comfortable as part of the family. Also, I got to talk to my parents via the videochat and used my laptop to bring them around to the whole family so they could talk to each person. It was a living MacBook commercial.

Then a nice long dinner with spicy vegetable soup, salad and cheese (5 kinds, including pesto cheese!) and then goodbyes, for the third time in two days.

And oh yeah, it was my birthday today :) A strange 22nd birthday, but I suppose it was better than spending it studying. Also I learned I have the same birthday as my great uncle Antonio, though he is 58 years older. And Nagibe's birthday was 2 days ago, my grandmother's would be tomorrow, and Sr Agnes a few days after that.

--

Inshallah when I write again I will have made it back to Damascus.